© pagan wanderer lu 2010
Straw Donkey
Ladies and gentlemen... the book burners!
Like the one they bought in spain
ain't no doubt it's plain to see
Just like the kids on reality TV
We now use the same duff information
ain't no doubt it's plain to see
and for every old man who rants down the pub
GBP/GbV
Like magpies with gold cards we buy
Ruled out Yahweh with a telescope
This used to be a great country
Use drama alone to decide
And we lose more jobs to ignorance
If they replace manual workers with robots
The Ballad of Big Eggo
here I come to save the day
i wanna be back on the front page
there's nothing wrong with being stupid and nice
when it should be going to the ostriches
i wanna be back on the front page
and when I turned up 50 years later
i wanna be back on the front page
Jhavishna
Jhavishna comes from a mystic place
He can heal your mind body and soul
Women fall for it hook line and sinker
Anne Marie is 23
The only way that we truly create
Have you got money?
Go Jhavishna!
Mr Jones has terminal cancer
‘Out there amidst the sun and the sand
After two weeks for perfect weather
‘Omma-ya-ya...’ etc
The next day Mr Jones was dead
‘Go me’.
Jhavishna goes home every night
Judy explains how when she feels like a swig
Go Jhavishna!
All lyrics written by Andy Regan
Pervert Oven
The robber barons of the global media
convinced a nation of slow readers
to elect a donkey in a straw hat
where they had such a nice holiday
sorry what was the question again?
da da da etc
there's only two things wrong with democracy
one - the politicians
two - the people who elect them
and yes the education system's falling to bits
but dumbing down the press isn't gonna help it
no
He always knew it was his destiny
to represent his constituency
now he can buy himself a new hat
when putting the choice to the nation
of politician or singing sensation
all the kids sing hallelujah
there's only two things wrong with democracy
one - the politicians
two - the people who elect them
and is this how we're making things more democratic
throw puckey at the wall and see what sticks?
oh
and doesn't cite his sources
the riposte I endorse is
show me
yer bibliography
Intelligently designed
by the gods of commerce
To spend until it hurts
And with him any hope
of an afterlife
so spend as if you're never going to die
but we had to rob a lot of people to get there
and there's always a danger
that the great British public will become self-aware
the battles we should fight
road safety facts
don't bump terrorist attacks
than we ever will to immigrants
how does electric work?
It’s just planets in the wires
and replace office workers with software
it wouldn't lessen the danger
that the great british public would become self aware
I'm back to take my rightful place
and prevent the destruction of youth culture
by the little punk who stole my crown
with his spiky hair and black and red jumper
there's a new sheriff in town
with my harmless antics on display
winning back the hearts and minds of young people
and wanting nothing more than a simple life
but by burying your head in the intellectual sand
you facilitate a culture in which corruption is the norm
I'm here to make you understand
that it's the reason why this nation is going to the dogs
I'll have a new generation in stitches
my humble ambition is to become a role model
with my baffling antics on display
winning back the hearts and minds of young people
they made me into a great big joke
wasting away
in a retirement home
with my baffling antics on display
winning back the hearts and minds of young people
Sweet angel with a bearded face
And we go
To Jhavishna for help
At a price that will make a hole
In your wallet
But it’s worth it
You bet
That he can make them less of a minger
By unleashing
The light
From within
Which they do
By having sex
With him
She needs help with creativity
So she goes
To Jhavishna
For help
He says inside her
Is a novel
That will sell
Is to commune with a higher plane
Which we do
By taking
Drugs
Then go buy some for us
Guru! Guru! Guru!
In desperation he goes for an answer
To Jhavishna
Who says ‘go, for your health,
To the Bahamas
And I’ll come as well
I will touch you with my healing hands
And the difference
Will be plain
To see
It will take
Two weeks
Call it three’
Mr Jones doesn’t feel any better
So Jhavishna
Says ‘there is one final chance
I will perform the ancient healing chant....’
Jhavishna turned to his family and said
‘I could have helped him
If he truly believed
In the healing powers
Of me’
Replaces toe-rings with a shirt and tie
And he watches himself on TV
Interviewed by Richard and Judy
She simply gives Jhavishna a ring
And he tells her, that inside her is a light
(inside her is a light)
That will make everything alright
(what a big fat pile of shite)
Guru! Guru! Guru!
©2010